Thankfully not. But, I am two years away from that age, getting married in December, and the fact that I was narrating the start of my own dream last night/this morning was enough to frighten me a little. Especially, because I’ve only dreamt of the dead/dying when the person already was gone.
If you remember me from Xanga or even if you don’t search for the tags involving “dreams”. They are almost always strange and complicated. I’ve also always have been a natural lucid dreamer. All of my senses are active. I feel pain when it occurs. I also sometimes break the 4th wall because of the constant awareness that I’m asleep. I can control situations, but, sometimes relinquish that to see what plays out. What conspires is almost always quite odd and often violent. It can also be very otherworldly and has inspired my writing because the dialogue and plot line are always very rich and interesting.
Now begins last night’s episode. Seriously, this shit could be a show called “Tales from the REM Side”. At the start, those was my very first words. I am having a flashback and talking to a new female friend. I believe her name was Sioban.The flashback was a mall surveillance video of Brian getting shot to death by a robber in a music store he owned. (My fiance is actually a professional musician and has drum-teched for Kevin Miller of Fuel.) I am obviously very shaken by this even, though, it is a few months later and my new female friend sees I am a grieving widow. We leave the mall (in a suburban-like setting, but, it could of been in the city). We’re just bull-shitting and decide to go out in South Philly. I don’t recall ever being there at this particular estaplishment, but, that is where it’s supposed to be located. As we are leaving the bar, we pass a girl I get a vibe from. Like holy. It freaks me out and express it to Sioban, but, she writes it off. I do have a lot on my mind.
The next day, I am walking near an empty,weedy lot on South 7th Street (It’s a little sketchy in my neighborhood from 5th to 7th, Ritner to Morris; They’re a product of late-1980′s/early-90′s white flight.) and see the woman again. She is my around age…maybe 25, but, I’ve never seen her this much before in my life. Never even in my neighborhood. As I cross at the corner and she is still close walking towards the end of the lot. There was a dead cat in the lot which I felt bad for when I walked by. A Tabby. The cat had just crossed my path. Had I been mistaken? While I was going to cross, I turned to her as she was heading West towards 8th Street. “Who are you?” ” My name’s Kaitlyn.” “No…who are you? You just brought that alley cat back to life.” “I work for God.” And that sparked a friendship which soon led into the truth of the real battle between Heaven and Hell.
Though, I wasn’t sure if Kaitlyn was an angel or just a very special woman on a mission from Jesus Christ, she indeed had a gift. She held the power of necromancy. She also can do many things that mortals can’t in terms of physics and reality, but, her ability to revive the deceased is what I am interested in. I want my husband back. We decided to have a drink at the same bar with Sioban the skeptic.Only the divine is all-knowing, but, she was aware of my pain without Brian. She didn’t bring up the subject, though, almost as she didn’t want to violate my free-will. I ask her if she will bring Brian back. She gives me a look and we head to a booth. They are green in color. She can, but, he cannot stay for more than a few days at a time, but, she can negotiate with God as needed. I also have to keep things quite as if she was bringing back everybody, it would disrupt the natural world and the order of life. There was also the issue of the demonic.Satan cannot escape from Hell, but, he can still cause chaos with associates. They are watching her and we need to be careful. I meet a male “angel” named Shawn. He along with Kaitlyn are here to protect us along with my IRL friends who interact with me normally throughout my dream. Having Brian back in this subconscious scenario is complete bliss. I feel complete again as I would if this was really all happening. My house with him. With our daughter (thought of but not concieved yet in actuality), feels like a home again.
Then, something seems terribly wrong. Kaitlyn is busy with God, but, figures we are safe home alone. She leaves us. My dog suddenly comes up from the basement, afraid. There is a zombie. I take my dog while Brian takes our daughter and we lock the backdoor, staying in the yard. “What was that?” Brian looks up from our toddler. Young Chevelle, I presume. That is what I want to name our first daughter when we finally do get a BFP and it’s a she. We love the band, plus, it is Hebrew for “my God is a vow”. She hadn’t been quite walking yet, but, was getting there. I’m getting off track. He answers me, though. “When one dies in mortal sin, the soul is destroyed. That’s where zombies come from. A shell of meat and organs. A beast.” “You’re fucking kidding me…” “No. But the good thing is they can’t escape from Hell. Unless one of Satan’s demons, half human-half zombie, passes the virus on here on Earth. The DNA is still contaminated.” “Where did that thing come from then?” “That’s what scares the shit out of me.” “I thought you said nothing could escape.” ” Technically, unless they were to defeat God in which it would end in a draw, no. Lucifer was once the most powerful angel. What do you think happens when people sell their soul, Marissa?” I nod. The zombie is still trying to break through the door. Our windows have bars. Thankfully Kaitlyn comes to the rescue. She slices through his skull with a sword. While she says the key is merely destroying the brain, a weapon that is blessed will weaken them faster if the first attempt fails. There are still many questions to be answered, but, Kaitlyn decides it will happen in due time. Even Brian isn’t even sure what to make of it. The only thing is to keep our eyes peeled.
Another night out and we run into our old roommate Mike. He was always an asshole to Brian, but, seems to have a sudden fondness of us. I leave Brian to go to the other bar in the place and something is wrong. He’s bleeding and beginning to rot. Was this part of God’s conditions if he over-stayed? I immediately get Kaitlyn and ask her to talk to God. She panics. While Brian was given a new body, this is the zombie virus. His soul is at stake. How did it happen? She realizes teeth marks in his neck. “Somebody here isn’t who they say they are.” “Can you do anything?” “I’m technically not allowed to intervene…but fuck it, I’m sure the Big Guy can understand. We’ll have to baptize him.” We got outside and she does the ritual. Brian seems fine and she cleans him up. Since it was caught early, it was still possible. Kaitlyn begins to tell a story. She’s had a suspicion for a while that a demon or a group of such creatures is going to try to start the zombie apocalypse, potentially causing enough chaos to break the gates of Hell once and for all. The main goal being is to destroy the Earth, God’s most precious creation. The only true barrier between the two worlds which could potentially lead to the fall of the Kingdom of Heaven if tampered with.
Mike suddenly reappears all concerned because Brian still has dry blood. Kaitlyn and Shawn go back into the bar. We want to go home. Though he appears under the influence of opiates and drunk off of Jack, Brian realizes otherwise since their encounter. Mike is the demon. Unarmed, Brian improvises. He still is half-divine. He tells me to grab on and that these creatures hate love just as much as they hate God. We’ll be okay. We scale up a light pole, but, Mike can follow. He bites into my right achilles tendon.
Then I woke up.
Am I crazy or am I crazy?